This month begins another attempt at self-reinvention. As time passes and we get older, I think its important to take moments in time and reevaluate what you are doing with your time here on earth. Some call it a “mid life crisis, but the concept is the same no matter what your age is. You wake up one day, think about your current life, and wonder “Whats next?”
I had been thinking about this a lot recently, and came to a bit of a conclusion as to what action I want to take in this regard. At first, I thought about each aspect of my life separately.
I want to get in better shape.
I want to advance my skills and my career.
I want to eat better.
I want to meet new people and do exciting things.
Yes, these are stereotypical New Years resolutions that people make, and at first glance, these things are only kinda related, and it might make sense to think about them separately. But I thought indepth about them, and realized that the thing keeping me back is the same in all cases.
Fear of the Unknown.
Getting in shape means pushing myself to go exercise, purhase training equipment, signing up for a gym membership, etc. These are all things outside my comfort zone that require a lot more effort than just coming home and sitting online, and gaming. My game project keeps getting put on standby…for nothing! All because I keep wondering. “Are my ideas too big? Can I really do this?”. The bad food I eat…I eat because..I’m used to it. Its easy to make. I’ve made it before. I won’t mess it up and it tastes good. I go to the grocery store. I know where the salads are. I see them looking at me. But I don’t pick them up because I’m worried about if I will eat it before it goes bad, or they its too expensive.
These worries aren’t real worries. There is little risk involved in any of those actions, but there is a whole lot of effort. I have to get out there and take a jump into the endless abyss, unfamiliar worlds that are outside of my control, full of strange things that I may not be fully prepared for.
You may read this and say “But that’s just life!”, and you’d be exactly correct. Its time for me to start fitting a bit more life into each 24 hour day.
My next post will be about my new daily schedule, and how coding, blogging, working out, and eating fits into it.
I know this isn’t my normal kinda post, but its very important to me. Thanks for reading!